Better Spouses - Seeking to be a Better Spouse - Colossians 3:17-19
July 22, 2022, 9:00 AM

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.


What does it mean to love your wife? There is no such thing as a perfect person, perfect husband, perfect wife. We are on the journey of learning as we go, but we have a good manual in the Bible. An important part of growing in a relationship is to take time for one another. I decided at least monthly to date my wife.

I have emotional feeling for her that I call love, but the Bible does not speak about love in that way. Love is a commitment. I must be committed to her in faithfulness. There are needs in my life that I choose for only Judi to fulfill. She has my promise on that, but I also realized that I cannot meet all of Judi's needs or wants nor can she meet all of mine. It would be idolatry to think she could or should.

Some women struggle with the instruction, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” Part of submission to your husband is a public awareness that he is your special man. Your wife is your special woman. There are no others. That is fitting to the Lord. There is no place for flirting with another. Especially women, do not dress to please other men. I do not make decisions regarding my schedule that would involve home or family or church time without consulting my spouse.


As a husband you are not to be her sergeant and she a private in the army. You need that type of leadership if you are at war. The Biblical model of leadership taught by Jesus is servant leadership. Jesus gave Himself for His disciples. He loved them and first acted in ways He wanted them to follow. He told them "Don't be like the Gentiles that Lord it over one another"

I learned to respect Judi for her uniqueness and be aware that God gave her to me for learning important lessons for my spiritual growth.

Growing and maintaining our marriage and home is our number one priority next to the Lord.

She is my best friend and counselor. I readily admit that I am dependent upon her. I would not want to hurt her in any way.

It is hard for me to imagine marriages that do not have open communication. I can't imagine being married and not talking about hopes, dreams, disappointments, frustrations, and even disagreements. Judi has saved me thousands of dollars in therapist fees!

We are different personalities. She puts up with more than I put up with and I know that. She prays for me and that means more to me than she ever knows. I can trust her completely. God has a will for both of us together to serve Him and bring glory to His name through our lives and marriage.

1 Corinthians 13 gives me more to think about love and how to act toward our spouse. I realize only Christ is the perfect lover. I am glad He modeled that for me as an example and, by His Spirit, is changing us both to serve Him as a couple.

Application: And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Col. 3:14

Prayer:  Lord, only You can make a marriage work in the way You designed it. I look to You and Your Word to make my marriage what You designed it to be.

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