1 Peter 3:7 “ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

The NIV says to “be considerate”. Certainly, that is true. The KJV says to “dwell with them according to the knowledge”. The word implies that he is to “domesticate” with his wife. The word means “to make a home for, to inhabit one's abode together, to live at home with.” Men often allow themselves to become so occupied with so many other things that they have no time for their families and spend very little time at home nor are there physically or emotionally. This verse indicates the husband must become sensitive to his wife's feelings and desires. He must be considerate. Knowledge is knowing about your wife, what she thinks, likes and dislikes, how she feels, what her fears are, and her hopes and dreams. To gain knowledge we must listen. encourage, and communicate.   

Often husbands fail to realize how tedious and boring housework can be. Men think they've earned a trip alone fishing or with the boys and forget that his wife needs a break and vacation too.

 There is obviously much to say regarding the relationship of husbands and wives. We know that consideration is a lacking element in marriages that are about to break up. Pride, selfishness, and egocentricity overshadow having our own needs met and fail to take the other person into consideration. One counsellor said a husband should never speak loudly to his wife unless the house is on fire. Kindness in speech is the oil that takes the friction out of daily living.    

Husbands must seek to meet their wives' physical needs, their material needs, and have the continual responsibility to seek to meet the emotional needs for love. Protection is part of the husband’s responsibility. Spiritual protection is included as well.   

There is always the importance of honor and respect. One of the common comments on the wives’ surveys is “Do not take marriages for granted.” Women want to be appreciated and loved. They want romance, men. I forget that. I think that my wife knows that I love her. After reading the surveys I noticed my wife’s handwriting was not in the pile, but the comments just as well could have been. Love exists, but the affectionate relationship begins to cool. Women want to be appreciated and told that, shown that in ways that will not necessarily lead to sex.   

When was the last time you and your spouse went out on a date? Women especially love that attention. Dating and romance can change that pattern, be a lot of fun and is worth the effort. Preventive maintenance takes on going work, but it is work that must be done sooner, not later.

One thing the surveys revealed was both men and women said good marriages take WORK. Even those who rated their marriage the highest said marriage takes work.   

Part of knowing your wife comes with spending time with her, considering her needs and not doing what you like to do all the time. When I suggest going on dates usually people think they can't afford that. It does not have to be expensive. For some it might be making her breakfast in bed, or putting a puzzle together, or renting a video, or building a snowman, or writing her a love letter. Try calling her up on the phone in the middle of your day and not have any reason only to say “Hi”. Even offer to take the kids every so often so she can get out of the house and do something for herself. It can do wonders for the relationship.

Be the Best Husband you can possibly be, then you will be happy. Most women would like to have the respect they received when you were dating. The survey said, they desire to be told how much they mean to you and that you like being with them.

What was it that caused you to be attracted when you were dating? Make that a renewed spark in your relationship. Consider your responses to her.

Dale