17. Sometime later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18. She said to Elijah, "What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?"
There isn’t any other time when feelings run as deeply as in times of tragedy. There isn’t anything as traumatic as a terminal illness or death of a young child. Compound that crisis with the mother who already experienced the death of her husband. She is also living in a land going through a draught. She doesn’t have any resources as the flour and oil are only enough each day’s food.
Aloneness seems to be overwhelming. The one she loves most in the world is taken from her. She saw her son getting worse and was hopeless. This was a despairing experience -that there was nothing anyone could do and everything tried wasn’t working.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross studied grief and noted similar emotions experienced in losses. Initially there is often shock. Sometime people feel like they are going crazy because they are flooded with all kinds of thoughts. Your system is numbed and sometimes sick.
Denial of reality is the mind’s way to process it slowly. Maybe this is just a bad dream or one goes over and over in their mind how things could be different. The big “if” is asked, “If only I had done this, or didn’t do that.”
The sense of overwhelming despair took what little hope the woman had away from her. Perhaps you’ve known folks who have struggled with a tragedy in their lives. Even people of faith can feel devastated and bitter. That anger turns toward God or those who represent Him. The widow let Elijah have it with her anger. It is not his fault. What does he have against her?
One of the grieving person’s confusion, anger and bitterness turn toward God. They can no longer worship a God who has the power to change the event but doesn’t. Or they are disillusioned into thinking that there must not be a God who would keep His grace and mercy from these situations. I’ve seen pastors and church leaders who have held responsible and significant Christian position, defeated spiritually and quit, rejecting the Lord.
Anger can do that. Self-pity can do that. In grief it is not at all unusual for people to reject and distance themselves from folks who are near. It’s best to listen and love. Time is a great healer of emotions. That’s when people can feel free to talk it out.
Bargaining is another feeling - going over what they might have done differently and making promises trying to change the situation. It’s not uncommon for individuals to look for ways to regain control or to feel like they can affect the outcome. In the bargaining stage of grief, they may find themselves creating a lot of “what if” and “if only” statements. Do not try to correct their theology or preach at them, but help them by your prayers, presence, and love.
Application: When going through hard situations, share your feelings. Don’t deny them. Find those who understand and love you amidst your tragedies.
Prayer: Lord, help me to remember You are sovereign and that nothing touches my life without passing through Your fingers of love. And that in everything, You will turn it for my good and the good of Your Kingdom.
