“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

Husbands are to be in the same way as wives, or as the KJV says “likewise”. That goes back to 1 Peter 2:17 “Show proper respect to everyone.” 2:13 and 2:17 indicate proper respect is shown by appropriate submission. The consideration that the husband has for his wife is also submitting to the example of Jesus Christ. This involves so much, but not the least of which is submission to the will of the Father. We know that Jesus desired two things on the earth: to glorify His father in heaven and to care for His own that He loves.     

Jesus was committed to His task of providing salvation because that is what brought more glory to God. The words "Till death us do part" are more than a just a phrase intended to give solemnity to the wedding ceremony. This is a determined commitment that makes for a happy marriage that goes beyond just the surface. It is an expression of commitment through all the joys and sorrows of marriage. This is a commitment to the will of the Father is also part of being an example of Christ.    

Since the Lord desired the husband to be the head of the house for the sake of harmony and peace, it is also a role within the relationship to express love and relationship to the world and to us. You can be sure that Satan will tempt man to lord or rule over his wife to compromise God’s plan, or for the wife to be tempted to lord over her husband to discredit the Word and plan of God in a Christian marriage. It is easy to fall into the temptation to rule instead of leading or followig.

Luke 22:25-26 says "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves." He also washed His disciple's feet as a demonstration of leadership. "You call me Teacher and Lord and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." (John 13:13-15)    

Notice, the military model of authority depends on subduing disobedience with power from above. Its object is accomplishing the tasks at hand. The Christian model of authority depends on submission from below. Its object is the personal growth of the one who is led. Tasks serve as opportunities for spiritual growing and the task can be modified for the learner's development.   

Jesus communicated with the Father regularly and desired to summit. Be like Jesus. Let your conversations be from the heart with love and appreciation. Leadership before God means I must answer to God for the way I lead and direct my family. I cannot blame anyone else for something God has called me to do. He called me to be considerate of my wife. If I am not, I must answer to God, not my wife. It is a spiritual obligation that I do not make my decisions and expect her to waddle along with my every whim and whistle. No, it is a submission of my rights to God and asking God and Judi, in matters that are of importance, to make decisions with her good in mind.   

What if I want a boat and she needs a washing machine. The boat is for my pleasure. The washing machine is for the good of the family. What would God have me buy? That is a spiritual leadership decision. She wants to go to Hawaii, yet we have a loan of $3,000 to pay off. I want to be debt free. What would God have me do? Maybe I could buy her a grass skirt and pay $2,900 toward our loan and everyone is happy!

If I am deciding after much discussion and disagreement, then I am responsible to God for the decision. She isn't. She has given me advice, sought to help showing the pros and cons, which is likely to build a more harmonious relationship, but if we never come to agreement, or I never appreciate her opinion, that is a mistake, and our relationship is shaky. How is she to respond?  “I told you so! You have the brains of a pea-head!”  She would never let me forget it for the rest of my life.  That is not harmonious in God's eyes. Her gentle and quiet spirit is God’s way for His spirit to convict me of my sin. Now instead of having to deal with her, I must learn my lesson and deal with the Lord. Who is more likely to give me the more convincing argument, Judi or Jesus?   

We have responsibilities as husbands. It is to provide loving leadership to wives as a ministry to the Lord.

Prayer:  Lord, You have given us the covenant of marriage, help us all to live under the umbrella of this covenant as Your Word designs it.