"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." KJV
The KJV says to dwell with them according to knowledge. What the Greek is saying literally is “to live at home with his wife according to the standard of experiential knowledge.” The word implies to make a home for, to inhabit one's abode together, to live at home with.
Men too often allow themselves to become so occupied with so many other things that they have little time for their families and seldom spend time at home. He must be considerate of his wife and what goes on at home.
Knowledge is knowing about your wife, what she thinks, what she likes, what she dislikes, and how she feels. Listening to her fears, hopes, and dreams is a means to gain knowledge and become an encouragement to your help mate. Still the number one problem in most marital relationships is the lack of communication. It takes work.
Often husbands fail to realize how tedious and boring housework can be. Men might think they've earned a trip alone fishing or with the boys playing golf and forget that women need a break from their housework also to have a vacation. I longingly reminded Judi of our vacation for a week up at a resort where we all had fun, fishing, swimming, playing table games, talking. “We should try to do that again.” She responded, “I just remember working the whole-time cleaning, organizing, and cooking all week.” How our memories change with years. Apparently, she didn’t get the break she was looking forward to having. (I carried the stuff in.)
When I passed out a survey to couples on what they wished their spouse would know, a common comment by wives is the feeling of being taken for granted. Women want to be appreciated and loved. They want romance, men. I forget that. I think that my wife knows that I love her. After reading the surveys I noticed my wife’s handwriting was not in the pile, but the comments given could just as well have been hers. Love exists, but the affectionate relationship begins to cool. Women want to be appreciated and told that, shown that in ways that will not necessarily lead to sex.
When was the last time you and your spouse went out on a date? Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns and be a lot of fun. It is worth the trouble. Preventive maintenance takes work, but it is work that must be done sooner, not later.
When I suggest dates, some think they can't afford that. You can't afford not to. It might mean special attention at home, like making her breakfast in bed, or put together a puzzle, or renting or borrowing a classic video, or building a snowman. Even offer to take the kids every so often so she can get out of the house and do something for herself. It will do wonders.
Another thing from the surveys is both men and women said good marriage takes WORK. Even those who rated their marriage the highest said marriage takes work. Habits creep in slowly and after a while a couple realizes the spark of romance is gone and they didn’t notice.
Most women would like to have the respect they received when dating. During those earlier days you wanted to hear what she said. You told her how much she meant to you. You liked being with her. Those practices will still be greatly appreciated.
Prayer: Lord, this week help me apply these principles into our home. Direct my path, O Lord.
